Early yesterday, the red heifer bred by cattlemen from Mississippi and Texas, went on a rampage where the animal was housed in Jerusalem. The red heifer, which Fundamentalist Christians claim will herald in the Second Coming of Jesus Christ and, with his return, the End of Time, killed all three of her keepers before escaping onto the streets of the city.
Once roaming Jerusalem, the heifer, now full-grown, gored several local residents. An Israeli soldier home on leave from his post along the border of the Gaza Strip shot it through the head killing it as it charged him too.
By the time Fundamentalists learned of the heifer's demise, it had been neatly slaughtered and sold at a local Arab meat market. All that now remains of the heifer that once bore the responsibility of apocalypse are its horns and hooves.
These now sacred objects will be available for viewing at the Museum of the Apocalypse in Crawford, Texas.
Please mail, or send donations for this and or the Free Tony Alamo -- the new fundamentalist Martyr -- Fund directly to the museum, or online using Paypal.
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Apocalypse, red heifer, end time, Jack Reacher, fundamental, fundamentalist, Crawford Texas, Jerusalem, Tony Alamo, martyr
